Hulk Smashed!
Ang Lee's Hulk is the latest Marvel Comics' movie adaptation, and I had the displeasure of watching it with the gang (sans
Dean and Gig, who opted to enjoy each other and family instead). From the get-go I really don't care about the title, the comic or the character. This film interpretation by the acclaimed director of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon doesn't help my dislike any.
The Hulk as a character is slow and ponderous, big and bulky, but capable of awesome action and destruction when angered. That pretty much sums up this movie. It's SLOW-paced to the extreme. While other Marvel movies can't wait to get their 'power origin' plot points over and done with, Hulk wallows in agonizingly LONG, brooding, quiet and utterly BORING build-ups and establishing scenes that never do pay off. The script takes tons of liberties with the source material's simpler and less baggage-filled start to the Hulk's rampage, heaping on a dark, sinister father figure named David Banner (
Nick Nolte, whose scratchy voice grates immensely) who is the source of all of his son's torment later in life. Bruce (played blankly by
Eric Bana) gets a new name and life as a scientist and boyfriend to gorgeous Betty Ross (played by a Demi Moore-esque
Jennifer Connelly, she of the incredible bangs). Unfortunately, thanks to a lab accident with gamma rays, Bruce's hidden assets are unleashed in the form of a green giant (no, not Shrek) whose immense strength gives way to some impressive but ultimately bloodless destruction. Of course, monsters attract the military, led by a driven General Ross (
Sam Elliot). Lots of carnage ensues.
The good points in Hulk are things I thought would be liabilities; the CG is excellent and much improved over footage in earlier trailers. The action is vicious, kinetic and true to the comics, with sights of the green goliath jumping miles in a single bound, battling tanks and helicopters, and failing to bust out of his purple pants. However, these sporadic moments of glorious violence can only be reached after seemingly endless amounts of overlong drama, a repressed-memory mystery that is ultimately underwhelming, and a plot that never seems to come together well enough.
The boring pace is exacerbated profusely by the truly ridiculous "comic book" style transitions, and the penchant for the screen to break up into 'split screens' to emulate comics. There's a reason why this works in graphic novels, and why movies should NOT do it. IT SUCKS. It looks stupid, and hurts the eyes. And the gimmick just doesn't jive in such a plodding movie.
Not even the presence of
The Absorbing Man as an end villain can save this one. Without a doubt my least favored of all the recent Marvel Movies. Boring.
Oh, and Hulk also probably has the most blatant
Stan Lee cameo so far. So blatant it's sickening. Oh well. Gimme X3. Anything. Please.