Lola

My Lola, or grandmother (on my Mom's side), was the only grandparent I knew growing up. I remember her fondly, sometimes sadly, as she would occasionally come to the house to live with us for a while. I remember the aged, wrinkled face (she was ALWAYS old to me), the smell of pulbos (baby powder) and the way she would hug me.

I say that I remember her with a bit of sadness because I was told that Lola, in her old age, gambled away her fortune. Back then, Lola owned houses and property aplenty. In another world, she would be the Lola of anybody's dreams, having great wealth that would be passed down to her heirs when she passed away. However, the gambling bug hit her hard in her later years, and as a result she sold house after house, property after property, to use in the casinos.

Lola ended up having to go from house to house among her sons and daughters, to live in until her strong character would clash with the in-law or spouse, and off she'd go to the next place to stay. I remember feeling sorry for her, thinking that she should have saved at least one house for herself so she could live comfortably and without worry for her retirement.

Eventually, she more or less settled in the province, where she passed away peacefully several years ago at over eighty years of age. And so, she was buried there, far away, and not in my family's personal grounds at Loyola Memorial Park in Marikina. My Mom decided to go alone to the burial- we weren't able to see my Lola laid to her rest.
And so, I remember Lola as the last time I saw her.

Last night, I had a dream, and Lola was there.

I wasn't scared at all, despite the fact that I thought she was a ghost. In fact, I even brought out my cameraphone to snap some pictures. Since I never see ghosts in real life, I seem to see them all in dreamtime. Weird, eh?

Thankfully, my dream did not have the somewhat disturbing overtones of a dream her old driver had a few months ago- the old man, sick in bed, dreamt that my Lola appeared, beckoning for him to 'go with her'. Don't worry- He's still alive. He came out of the dream quite scared though, saying to his former boss that he didn't want to go just yet.

I saw Lola as she was the last time I saw her, shuffling about, looking over the house. It was our old house in Pasig, not our present residence, which eventuallly clued me in that it was all a dream. I remember looking at Lola for a while more, and then eventually the dream faded and I woke up. Was there meaning in the dream?

Just recently, I remember talking about my Lola to some friends, and saying how I felt sorry for her. Perhaps Lola is telling me that all is well now. She lived life the way she wanted, no matter what. Now, she's at peace, and I should just remember her with love.

With the warmth of the scent of baby powder, and tight hugs.

Thanks for the visit, Lola.