The Only Constant Thing
Sometimes... no, many times, I wish that you could just stop time and preserve a status quo forever.
You reach a point where everything seems right, you're having so much fun and you wish it could all just go on forever. Well, maybe not forever, but for a while. I think that's a sign that you were or are happy. That you've found contentment with the things around you and you could just stay there in that pocket of eternity for the duration.
But that really isn't possible, is it?
Time marches on regardless of how people feel or act or decide to act. Change comes relentlessly, either as a thief in the night or as a marching band blazing on at full volume. Whether it's a shock or a whisper, change enters our lives and the effects are things that we must deal with in order to continue living.
A lot of things have been happening lately. These events have rocked my world in significant ways. The most distinct recently was the fact that my friend Vin, the genial and jovial shopkeep of Comic Quest has entered a new chapter in his life... and that chapter apparently does not involve him being the CQ shopkeep anymore. It's a big thing, considering that 'The Store' has been more or less the center of my social life for the past, oh, six or seven years. Now, it's no longer that... it's just the place where I get my comics every week. Weird. Really weird.
But this shock of a change isn't the only thing that has hit me in terms of the gang I run with. Lately, we haven't been going out as much. The Saturday Night Outs that we once looked forward to as oasis of discussions, creative mixers full of laughter, anecdotes and experience-sharing aplenty are now few and far between. As people grow older, it seems, they grow more focused on their own interests and their own paths. Some people have left us seeming for dead. Some are about as rare to find as chicken teeth. Others are there but might as well not be.
Don't get me wrong. We still meet, and I still look forward to each time we do. Just not as religiously. Perhaps when some creative urge, opportunity or project appears and beckons, perhaps the old magic will well up and like Musketeers in hiding from Cardinal Richelieu (sorry, I saw it on Star Movies last night), we'll take up our swords and uniforms once again and meet all for one and one for all.
Do I miss the days when we didn't NEED to have a hopeless cause or a ridiculous project to rally around to meet each other. When we just enjoyed to meet because of each others' company. When it was enough to just talk and laugh about things for little or no reason aside from it was just for the sake of talking about it.
Maybe we're just getting old. Nah.
That's the way it is, isn't it? You just try to fit in as well as you can. Even if you don't really fit in, you try to give what you can because that's what friends are for. To be there when it counts, or to just be there, period. That's all there is to it. This is as good as it gets.
There are stories to tell and lots of things still to do. I believe this. I really do.
It's just that if I knew that it would all come to this, I'd have recorded and videotaped all those nights out we had before. Archived them on optic disc or memory crystal and put them in a safe at The Sanctum, where I can just bring them out and try to find warmth in the memories for just a little while.
Damn. That's pathetic.
Again, the point of this post. Change happens, like shit. It happens and there's not a damn thing we can do about it but roll with the punches. Change anything that's wrong with you and keep on trucking. Move on as others move on and just find a place where there's more heat and warmth to partake of.
Because while there's really no point in crying over spilt milk or spoiled milk, there's even less point in crying over milk that you actually got to drink and enjoy. You've pissed it all out by now and so you've got to find a new quart to fill that thirst.
I miss the good times.
But I know there will be other good times.
And I'll be damned if I don't squeeze all the enjoyment I can with what I am lucky to have right now.
So this really isn't a rant. It's just an affirmation that I'm still here.
I'm still working at The Salt Mines (and hopefully getting better). Still dreaming about the next big Xbox360 game. Still getting a kick out of finding gems in the ol' DVD bins. Still working on bringing out The Last Angel Ace Story and the further adventures of Agent K and The Pink Ninja. Still counting on the next Project Hero and whatever else comes my way. Still kicking back in The Sanctum to enjoy loot from Comic Quest or Greenhills.
I'm still here and looking forward to the future. That's all I can do.
Moving on. Moving on.