Sunday, March 20

Going Hyper

If I had a marketing budget, I'd follow the suggestion of some of the gang and really work on marketing K.I.A. to the high heavens when it comes out in a couple of weeks. Yeah, yeah, there will be the customary posters and hanging mobiles for Comic Quest, but then I was suggested to do a BIG launch event.

We'd have a venue, and food and waiters and shit, and the biggest thing would be a real-live Agent K, standing right there! We'd get a sexy model, have her hair cut to Kai's style, have her wear the green and black battle bikini and the cloth wraps and have her standing in front of the venue, glaring at people.
Yeah, she'd have to be gorgeous since the darn outfit doesn't allow for anything but a damn perfect bod. Of course, we'd have to have someone standing by and keep any weirdos from getting too close to her or molesting her... or, better yet, we'll get a model who actually knows martial arts so she can beat up anyone who pisses her off, true to the character!

Unfortunately for her, she'd have to stay in character and look slightly angry and hostile all the time (which I imagine would be tiring after a while), not to mention she has to stay half-naked and barefoot in the cold mall environment- and it just won't do to have the unkillable, indomitable super-assassin sneezing or shivering in front of onlookers. Maybe we can have her stand on a nice carpeted area? Or have her wear a trenchcoat, and just show off her bod during key moments of the launch? Well, whatever. These are the things you can think about with reckless abandon since they will probably never come true. Merchandising glitz is waffle, and unless you have the actual comic or product, they're all useless.

Which reminds me of that whole fiasco with Taekwondogs, several years ago. Ask any local comics veteran in Alamat about it, and you'll get rueful smiles. Created by Gil De Palma, a self-described 'surfer dude', the 'comic' was about a bunch of half-dog, half-human heroes who fought evil with their power-barks(!). Their names I think were Yip, Rouf, Brrk and Arf... I forget. Anyway, they fought enemies named WaWeWiWoWanda, King Aeiou, Boom-Sharka-Larka-Lark the Shark-headed Dog and other crazy shit- easily some of the crappiest-sounding characters and concepts I've ever heard- this was, seriously, like some BS you can think up while taking a crap.

The whole thing sounded crazy, but somehow Mr. De Palma SOLD this concept and had a whole bunch of people working on the book. There was merchandising, figurines, a big event at Megamall and lots of hype. But the most this thing ever had was a 200-page sourcebook which was horrendously produced (abysmally bad use of fonts and layouts, and the book practically self-destructed due to crappy binding) and was filled with stupid (if entertainingly stupid) drivel.

By the time the hoopla was over though, the actual comic was nowhere to be seen. Mr. De Palma was gone, leaving a lot of pissed-off artists and people who were never paid for their services, and sellers waiting for product which never arrived. The hype that Taekwondogs generated was a first in it's time, making comics seem like big business... on the downside, that it turned out to be ultimately vaporware ensured that sponsors would be wary of any such venture ever again.

Well, at the very least, I'll have a comic in my hands before I do any marketing or hype. Yeah, I have no budget. Just some cash from the pocket to do a couple of posters and mobiles, and the magic of Internet mailing lists and word-of-mouth to help sell K.I.A. But then, right now I'm happy at having done this thing, to be able to tell a story and bring a character to life... and that's worth the money and effort I've put into this. If it sells well, and I'm able to continue, then I'll consider this a success.

Otherwise, it's just another page in the sordid saga of this storyteller. Moving on then. Heh.

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