Saturday, July 10

Extra Cheese

I just watched U.S. Seals 2: The Ultimate Force on AXN.

WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

This probably is one of the most hilarious turns for a title, considering what kind of film the first US Seals movie was. Whereas the first movie (starring Charlie Sheen and Michael Biehn) was based more or less on real-world Sea-Air-Land commandos, this cartoony sequel brings together elements of The Dirty Dozen with The Magnificent Seven, adds in a load of camp and produces one cheezy laugh-fest of a movie.
Basically the drama is about an ex-SEAL guy who is tapped by an army major to bring back a kidnapped nuclear scientist. Of course, ex-SEAL doesn't care... at least until he learns that the kidnapper is his old army buddy-turned to the dark side, played by Damian Chapa, who smirks his way through the movie. Chapa, who played Ken in the live-action Streetfighter movie, is a clear hint that this is really a B-movie fest at best. Anyway, despite being about US SEALS, the movie actually has no real SEALS in the team... the good guys consist of an ex-SEAL and a rag-tag band of martial artists... who in true Magnificent Seven action die off one by one as the film chugs along.
It would have been a serious, heroic-violence flick, but US SEALS 2 takes out any sense of seriousness by adding super-exaggerated 'Whoop' sound effects with every characters' movements- be it a glance to the side or a quick hand gesture. Then there are the funny HK-style fights with dozens of token baddies, weird martial arts weapons like chains, metal sticks, Japanese katana, fencing rapiers and an acid-firing paintball gun being brought into play. There's even a red-haired oriental bad guy with a killer scarf who never says a thing but looks pretty badass. That's pretty cool. Oh wait- awkward love-story thrown in... uncool. Oh well.

If you see this on reruns on AXN, give it a shot. It's a hilarious turn-off-your-brain martial arts riotfest. Now I wonder if they will ever show Mortal Kombat Annihalation again sometime...

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