Transformed



The Transformers Movie. Or is it Transformers the Movie? Or just Transformers? Well, Transformers the Movie was the animated epic that was based on the classic Hasbro cartoon. I say based because the movie was a glossier, better-animated version of the TV show, where heroic Autobots actually died and things were really, really serious and dark. I can say I was a fan of the franchise, at least of the original series up until that first, momentous movie- I kinda outgrew the toys and like how I lost interest in the X-men when they suddenly splintered into various mini-teams, the Transformers went into CG, turned into weird animals or even- gadzooks- became anime-style shadows of their former selves. But when I heard word of the Transformers live-action film, I admit that I was intrigued. Michael Bay was doing it? I was intrigued and not a bit worried. I've read and heard of the many 'Bay-isms', the iffy stuff like Prime having lips and Megatron not transforming into a gun... but I was willing to give this a fair shot.

And now, after watching the adrenaline-rushing, turbo-charged, all-cylinders rolling action of the flick, I guess my worries have been allayed, and I have to say 'Yea' to Bay.

Transformers, based on the classic cartoon, opens up with the war between two factions of a robotic race, the good Autobots and the evil Decepticons spilling onto present-day Earth. Basically, the Transformers are all looking for an object known as the Allspark- the source of life and energy that created their world, which is now hidden somewhere on the planet. The Decepticons are also looking for their leader, the maleficent Megatron (voiced by an almost unrecognizable Hugo Weaving trying his best to channel original voice Frank Welker), who came to Earth many years before but disappeared.

For the first third of the film, we see mostly the Decepticons as they go about infiltrating the US military network, gathering information on their missing leader and the all-important Allspark. The movie opens with a sinister, silent chopper landing on a US base in Quatar, and you just KNOW something is wrong. The copter turns out to be a Decepticon and the kick-ass destruction that happens soon after is just a taste of the chaos to come.
Meanwhile, the Autobots are also on the move- one of them, plucky little Bumblebee, making contact with Sam Witwicky (Shia La Beouf), an American teen and grandson of the explorer who found Megatron and the Allspark several decades ago. From here on in, it's a running battle between the Autobots led by Optimus Prime to link up with the humans and keep the ultimate power from falling into the hands of the ultimate evil.

First off, this is a Michael Bay film, so it's all here- magnificent panoramic panning shots of bad-ass soldiers, dramatic slow-mo shots of everyone else at the most innocuous times, romantic moments in the midst of deadly danger, kinetically-exciting action and big, big explosions with lots of military hardware flying around. Oh, and there will always be someone waving a signal flare around. But what separates this from films like Bay's The Rock, Bad Boys II and Con Air are GIANT FREAKIN' AMAZING TRANSFORMING ROBOTS. The CG used to bring these metal menaces to life is unbelievable- convincing and utterly seamless. AND they put in the classic transforming sound in there too. Awesome!

Of course, this ISN'T our Transformers. Not really. Yeah, Peter Cullen is in there, bringing the classic tones of Optimus to life and giving the film instant validation. However, that's about it. Optimus is the closest in look, personality and feel to the original bots- everyone is radically different and more organic in design. It's actually quite hard to discern this from that bot, save Optimus and Bee. But you know what? It works. The Transformers look and move awesome, and that's what keeps this film alive and kicking you in the nuts and keeping you on edge with some explosive action when the big robots leap and transform and body-slam each other larger than life.

A lot of the movie though has to do with the flesh and blood actors, and you have to deal with quite a bit of set-up, a lot of over-the-top and pretty overblown performances and lots of shouting- enough that you'll start to tap your fingers and wonder "Where are the frickin' robots??!" But at least the humans are cool. Josh Duhamel (Las Vegas) and Tyrese Gibson play bad-ass special forces troopers serving in Saudi Arabia who have to switch from fighting terrorists to battling shape-changing aliens, and you'll root for them the whole way because they're pretty cool (Bay's military characters are always cool). Megan Fox as Sam Witwicky's love interest Mikaela is... well, a FOX and you just can't take your eyes off her (heh).

As the lead human, Shia La Beouf is likeable in the pivotal role of Sam and the spiritual successor to the cartoon's 'Spike' character- the human youth who bonds with the Autobots. He pulls it off with a character who's part-loser, part-normal guy and all-hero once the chips are down, and it works. John Turturro is borderline psychotic as the movie's answer to the Men In Black. He's over the top so much he walks a thin line between being funny and thoroughly annoying. There are tons of other oddball characters, from Jon Voight's apparently thoroughly-out of the loop Defense Secretary who ends up fighting the 'Cons hand to hand, to Sam's oddball parents, the hot Aussie government analyst babe and her weighty hacker friend. Everyone gets a lot to say- far more than the robots. Even extras and bit players on Bay's cast get to ham it up- which strangely fits in the movie since it really doesn't take itself overly seriously.

It's a loud, eye-blistering ride- laughs come with gasps, and Transformers fans will have giddies passing up and down their spines all throughout. After a ways of setup, when the Autobots finally gather onscreen, transform before your eyes (Gotta LOVE Jazz's ultra-cool transforming sequence) and Optimus finally speaks, you just know it's IT. It's frickin' Transformers. For real.

Of course, it's not perfect- there are parts that kinda drag, and there are iffy bits like how the big honkin' robots can just walk around seemingly unnoticed even though in plain sight. The 'Soundwave' of the movie- a little 'Con named Frenzy- is much too jittery and cartoony for such a sinister character- almost part Gremlin and part Jar-Jar. I wish that the individual Autobots and Decepticons had more character moments (perhaps on the DVD?). And I wish that some of the bigger action scenes could have been a bit easier to discern... a bit too much of the shaky-cam, sadly.
But for the most part this movie succeeds in one important thing- it makes you believe that Giant Transforming Robots EXIST. It's a pleasing, rabble-rousing popcorn flick which hits the right buttons with all the little cool bits, nods to the original and the high-octane action. A winner, in my calculation.

So what are you waiting for? Till All are One? Get off your rockers now, transform and ROLL OUT to the nearest theater!

Stoked

That's how I feel for the Transformers movie, which I'll be watching over the weekend. I've heard great things about this action-blockbuster, mostly about how awesome the action and special effects are, and how bad-ass the Autobots are compared to their TV cartoon incarnations. I was a pretty big fan of the original animated series right up to the animated Transformers movie, but I drifted away when the franchise took to weirder directions (like mechanical CG animals and worse, anime-style). I loved the old-school Prime-Megatron rivalry, Starscream's duplicity, Soundwave's menacing digital drawl and his menagerie of mini-monsters, the cool fights and big explosions. There were spotty, iffy moments, like that crappy ninja girl robot and the over-abundance of subgroups like the aerialbots, predacons and what the heck-ons that came after. But all in all, the Transformers hold a special place in my fanboy heart.

This weekend, perhaps on Sunday. We roll out. WOOHOO!

Erudite

This morning, while I was being driven by my Dad over to my drop-off point to work, he got into this talk that once he and my Mom retire completely, they'll probably sell one of our two vehicles. At present, we have two cars at home- an old but still well-maintained and excellently-running Toyota and an equally-well maintained but slightly newer mini-van/CRV type. He goes on to say they'll probably sell the Toyota and keep the CRV. Since they'll be retired, they don't really need two cars, and they can use the cash. He continues saying that perhaps when he wants to go out he'll just commute.

This pretty much horrified me, to tell the truth.

I commute every day. I do so because it's what I've been doing since I was a schoolkid in shorts. I've seen a lot. I've been through torrential rain, mud and puddles, molasses-thick traffic, sweat-stinking crowded jeeps/buses/MRTs, pickpockets, stick-up men, vagrants, annoying street urchins, plain bad-mannered bastards, bloody groupies, dirty cops and stuff that will make you want to pull out a machete and start hacking away at whatever and whomever is in range.

I do NOT want my Dad or my Mom having to go through that.

I will try my best to convince them to keep the cars. Both of them, for emergency purposes, or for simple convenience. I will try my best to make sure that my Dad never entertains this ridiculous idea of him ploughing into the wide world unless it's from the security and sure convenience and safety of a private car. They do not need to start commuting and mingling with the sea of humanity known as Rush Hour at this point of their life. Call me paranoid. Call me alarmist or an overprotective fuddy-duddy. I don't care. That's the kind of son I am.

A Game of the Highest Calibur



Some scans of the upcoming issue of EGM popped up online, allowing me to glean a few tidbits of information about the upcoming Namco-Bandai Beat 'em Up, Soul Calibur IV.

The game will supposedly look AWESOME, with graphical quality on a par with (or perhaps even surpassing) that of the current visual masterwork, Virtua Fighter 5. Character models and costumes are supremely detailed- the leather straps on Ivy's costume, for example, will actually leave realtime impressions/imprints on her body. The developers are going as far as to render stuff like Taki's nipples separately under her tight leotard. How's that for a job, eh? "Oh, I go to work rendering a ninja babe's BOOBS." Wild. So it looks that the character model of Ivy shown in the Soul Calibur IV trailer IS indeed in-game. Awesome!

As for gameplay, there are some juicy bits- how the usual lifebar works will change, and there will supposedly be a way to end a fight or round without needing to completely deplete an enemy's lifebar. One-hit kil? Disarms? Intriguing.

Character Creation, or Create-a-Soul, one of the more compelling additions in the previous installment, will return revamped and improved. There will be lots of new parts, clothing/armor and items to attach to your Ultimate Fighter, and some parts will even have an effect on gameplay. It will be more detailed and this time you will supposedly be able to tinker with stuff like character voices and other aspects. Hopefully the custom character models will equal the quality of the established fighters. The developers are working hard to ensure that players will be able to take their customized characters to combat online, and in a nod to players' demands, will allow you to now take your custom fighters' files and bring them with you for use on another console- something not possible with customized characters in the recent PS3 release of VF5.

The roster will supposedly see most of the cast returning, including the newbies from Soul Calibur III. Tira, the psycho-girl with the killer hula-hoop, in particular gets a new look as well as a more evil disposition and animations. As for new characters, Namco is keeping mum at this moment, preferring to reveal more about any new faces only when the game's release gets closer. Guest characters as well are a possibility- perhaps drawing upon swashbuckling characters from popular recent movies. Savvy?

With all this news (and just from less than half of the supposed 14-page blowout article in EGM), Soul Calibur IV looks to be even more incredible and intriguing a game than it's cousin, Tekken 6! With both awesome fighters set to release on Xbox360 and PS3 in 2008, it seems that Namco-Bandai will be taking the fight to new heights next year. I'm already sharpening my blades in anticipation. It's great to be a gamer. Heh.

Taking the Fight Online

Some intriguing early word from the humongous Soul Calibur IV blowout article in the new issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly. It's apparently now confirmed that the latest installment of Namco-Bandai's mega-popular blades-brawler will be coming to PS3s and Xbox360s with online capability. Yep, players will be able to slash and hack their friends from across the world via the internet. Even better, it seems that they will be able to do so using their own customized, created warriors as the game will sport a revamped, improved Character Creation mode. This feature, introduced in the previous Soul Calibur III, allowed players to select their custom warrior's gender, appearance, voice and weapon/skills, but at the time did not allow them to go online with their creations. Soul Calibur IV though, WILL.

This is great news, and bodes well for players who have been clamoring for online gaming with their beat 'em ups. Once again, 2008 can't come soon enough. The whole story can be found in the new issue of EGM, out on stands July 3. I'll be keeping my eyes out for this ish. WOOHOO!

Reel, Real and Unreal

If you are familiar with the live-action, testosterone-charged male soap opera that is the WWE, you'll probably have heard about the recent 'death' of Vince McMahon, via an apparent car bomb that exploded the WWE Chairman's limo... with him in it. This Sopranos-like demise (which was more Sopranos-like than the actual Sopranos finale) is, for the information of those unfortunate few who need some grey matter exercise, a WORK. Faux. It's the WWE's answer to the 'Who shot Mr. Burns' storyline from The Simpsons. Unfortunately, it seems that this big storyline now has to be put on hold, or even scrapped entirely given the most recent and tragic loss to hit the WWE.

Former WCW and WWE champion Chris Benoit was found dead with his wife Nancy and their 7-year old son Daniel in their home, the cause of death as yet unknown, but it has been ruled that it was a double murder-suicide. Things are still sketchy, but this just blows my mind.

Tonight's edition of Raw, which was supposed to continue the Who Killed Vince storyline, has been cancelled, giving way to a three-hour tribute to the late Superstar. According to news, Vince himself announced news of the tragedy to the gathered wrestlers and crew. Waiting fans outside the venue were told to go home and the wrestlers were allowed to leave the building and mourn the loss of a colleague, friend and wrestling icon.

Known as 'The Rabid Wolverine', Benoit was unequalled in his passion, dedication and work ethic in the WWE. The high point in his career was a couple of years ago, when he became the WWE Heavyweight Champion alongside his friend, Eddie Guerrero, who had also won the title of WWE Champion. Tragically, Guerrero would pass away shortly after. Now, Benoit is gone as well.
This news hit me like a ton of bricks today. Benoit was a great, great superstar and I truly enjoyed his reign as champion. He wasn't a big guy, so his 'underdog' image but bad-ass grappler style made him a favorite. His passing is a true tragedy. My sincere condolences go out to his family, friends and colleagues for this loss. I wish it wasn't true. I wish it was a work. But it seems to be real. Which makes it all the more unreal.

Kicking Back

In about a month, the Green Valley Country Club, where my parents have their Pro Shop (a service center for bowling), will close down for renovation. Actually, it's more of a rebuild as a new high rise will take the place of the aging recreation building. The estimated construction will take 2 years, so that pretty much spells the end of their present occupation.

I'm kind of worried... not really about the income, though, since I don't think we really rely too much on the sales/fees from the shop. The Pro Shop has seen better years... in fact, the last couple of years has seen my parents come home with little to no sales or profit. AND they still have an employee to give wages to. But I think it was more the fact that it gave them activity and something to do. A routine to follow, a job to keep you busy and active (even thought they pretty much only worked from late afternoon to evening). What happens when that disappears?

I'd like to think that it will be a good thing. My parents are both in their seventies or late, late sixties, and they've earned a relaxed retirement. It would be better for them to just stay home instead of hieing off to the club four or five times a week for little profit. My mom has her barkada and friends to keep her occupied. I'm actually thinking maybe she could start catering and selling her awesome spaghetti. But my Dad- he's got no visible hobbies or interests that I can discern. No activity or challenge means you age faster, so I really want him to have something when he finally retires. Perhaps a pet? A nice little dog (small so my Mom won't be bothered). Or maybe an aquarium to maintain?

I don't know the answer, but hopefully it will present itself soon. One month.

Tekken 6 Video



Here's the latest media on Tekken 6 straight from the private show held recently in Japan. The game is supposedly at about 50 percent completion, with about 40 characters in the roster including pretty much everyone from the previous installment and the new additions. It's the first time we see Miguel, the matador seeking revenge, in action and in his CG cinematics. The video features quite a lot of stuff, although there's no sound and the frame rate is pretty choppy. Shown are stages, some of which have multiple tiers/levels, some gameplay, tons of characters in action, character customizations (which seem more detailed and extensive ala Virtua Fighter 5), the special item attacks (Anna's shoe fling is finally seen, along with other item attacks), the Rage System and more.

We also get a glimpse of the CG cutscenes, one clip in particular showing what appears to be a dragon-like humanoid monster straining against some chains... pretty easy to figure out that this bruiser is probably waiting at the end of the story mode as the Boss. Just what is he/she/it? We'll just have to wait and see.

I'm stoked, really... this and Soul Calibur IV have made me a Namco fan again. The fighting game race is once again on with the champions of the genre throwing their hats into the ring. All I can say is, it's about time.

Heir Apparent


My next mobile?

After more than a year and a half, I'm still with my O2 XDA IIi, which has served me well and continues to be my all-in-one device. I really don't see myself changing phones, but in the case that I suddenly have a windfall or my lovely IIi is snatched from me by an army of assassins armed to the teeth, I should think about a possible replacement. After all this time, I really don't see myself going to a 'regular' phone, or even a smartphone of Symbian OS. I'm a Pocket PC phoner through and through, so any upgrade will be in that vein.

I finally found a desirable option in the O2 XDA Flame. The phone, which is roughly the same size of the XDAII series I've been using, sports a larger 3.6 inch VGA-quality screen, 2 GB of onboard flash memory (in addition to 128 Ram), 2-megapixel camera with flash, 3G and Windows 2005 OS. It also sports a video chip which on paper gives it as much graphical power as an Xbox. That's hot. On the sound side, it's got what seems to be surround-sound. Sounds good!

While the phone's use of a Micro-SD card irks me (WHY NOT FULL SD?!? WHY, Gaddemmet!!!), the built-in 2GB alleviates this, along with a new USB-to-go feature, which basically allows you to link the phone to any flash device (including those nifty small flash drives) via a nice adaptor cable, and then transfer files as you please on the spot. That basically gives you even more memory expansion possibilities.

And then there's the TV-Out feature, which lets you view documents, videos and anything on the Flame's screen on a TV via a cable. Now that is awesome. All these amount to a phone that just screams ME ME ME.

Problems? Well, it's mighty blocky and bulky-looking... even more than my already pushing it XDA IIi. But given the features, I can live with that. But the rich features also seems to translate to poor battery life... nothing a charger at the office can't help (but that's a definite problem). Then there's the cost. A brand new Flame may cost upwards of 50k. Steep, but well... after a PS3 and HDTV, this doesn't seem too bad.

Learning about the Flame makes me glad that I didn't get fixated on the Dopod 900. This phone looks like the real deal for me. But I'm not in any hurry. For now, I'll enjoy my XDA IIi a little while longer.

Fighter's Fan Service

Some news on the upcoming Tekken 6. With already three new faces revealed (first were cross-dressing tomboy Leo and Voldo-esque Zafina, then revenge-seeking matador Miguel), it has been mentioned in an update over at SD Tekken that there will be four more all-new competitors revealed soon. The game is testing in Japan, so there will be probably a lot of news about the game shortly.
Right now though, here are a few tidbits.

The game's graphic, powered by Next-Gen technology, makes the characters more beautiful and realistic (a given). The game will feature 12 new stages, some of which will have multiple areas and breakaway parts (think DOA's multi-section stages). Once again reiterrated is the fact that this will be the biggest Tekken with the largest roster of characters. The game will feature new moves as well as redone old moves, with overall game balance overhaul. A new 'medal system' will be making its debut.

There will be a new feature in the game called the Rage System. The lower your life bar goes, the higher your attack power gets. I'm not too sure about this- I can only hope it doesn't imbalance the game.

Tekken 6 will feature character customization beyond simple color/palette swaps or items/accessories, making for drastic changes in appearance (Yay). 'Concept' items will give the customization a 'rapid evolution'. There will also be 'move items' which provide new moves to the characters once equipped- we assume this are the special items like Anna's throwable high heels. It has been mentioned that Marduk will hit opponents with an iron bar, while Bruce Irvin will 'breed chickens'... what the HELL?

Tekken 6 looks to be a BIG step to shaking up the franchise, which frankly has gotten stale in it's later years (thankfully Tekken 5 and DR were fairly good games). Again, it's due for release in arcades in late 2007, while a PS3 conversion is expected in 2008. I think there's a fairly good chance I'll be seeing this locally.

On a side note, a full-body image of the Ivy CG model from the upcoming Soul Calibur IV has popped up online, and really- Miss Valentine is positively POPPING out of her barely-there costume. The showy ensemble is a much skimpier version of Ivy's default P1 outfit, with little more than cords of cloth covering her body, including her big BIG bumpers up front. All I can say is WHOA. Hopefully more about SCIV (and more Ivy) will be REVEALED soon as well. The Namco slasher is set for release on home consoles in 2008 as well. Next year's going to be awesome for the fighting game fan.

Now... where the heck is DOA5?

Justice For All



The 12-issue Maxi-Series by iconic comic artist Alex Ross is now complete. It's been a loooooong 2 years, but it's been worth it every issue. Ross' tale of DC's superheroes being sent to the threshold by an alliance of villains is a visual feast, once again showcasing the same style that made Kingdom Come a classic. It's not always easy to figure out what's happening in every panel, but darn- it's damn fun to figure out. No one quite gets it like Ross, and there are quite a few who try. The main draw of course is that simply, this is probably the closest we'll ever see a live-action, super-high budget Superfriends vs The Legion of Doom movie. It was awesome to see Ross' interpretations of the many heroes and villains, even if some looked like cosplay due to their 'realism'. But what the heck- his version of Poison Ivy is the best. Heh.

Anyway, I'll enjoy re-reading this series again to soak it all in more thoroughly, and to see the tons of stuff I probably missed in the panels. Afterwards, all that's left is to wait for the third hardcover collected edition, just for completist's sake. This is one keeper of a series, and hopefully Mr. Ross will revisit his unique universe again someday.

My Personal Ninja Girl


Coming soon to the pages of Mangaholix!

One of the coolest recent developments for me in the local comics scene is my getting involved with the cool crew behind Mangaholix, the latest manga comic-magazine from local producers/publishers. I was invited by the group's biggie, Emmanuel Javier, to submit some stories and was lucky enough to have one approved for inclusion in next few issues.

The story is Ninja Girl KO! While on a field trip to the forests of Northern Luzon, hapless student Anton Alcazaren crosses paths with the cutest Japanese war straggler ever- the beautiful and skilled kunoichi, Michiko Yamashita! Sooner than you can say, 'Belldandy in a gi', Anton's got himself his own personal ninja assassin at his beck and call. High-kicking, katana-swinging, shuriken-throwing chaos and comedy soon ensue!


Japanese war stragglers don't come cuter or deadlier than Michiko here.

I am doubly honored by the fact that the comic will be drawn by none other than Kriss Sison, one of the best local manga-style artists we have right now. I've been a fan of Kriss's work since I first saw him do pages of the Voltes-V sequel series in Questor Extreme Mangamania, and seeing my scripts come to life with his lovely art is just a giddy-inducing pleasure for me. If all things go well, NGK will see five issues. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

For now though, the first issue of Mangaholix, with three action-packed pinoy manga titles (Aporia, Kraust and Midknighters) is available for sale at National Bookstore outlets all over the Metro, and in comic shops and magazine stands. Check it out!

Surf's Up!


Silver Spoilers Ahead.

As part of my birthday celebration, I took the time to watch a movie today. I was actually trying for Ocean's Thirteen simply because it would have been cool to watch it on the 13th of June. But schedules didn't work for me, and I ended up getting to watch The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. And to be honest, It all ended up for the better as this sequel, thankully, more than rises to the occasion.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer reunites the entire cast from the first FF movie; Ioan Gruffudd as Reed Richards AKA Mister Fantastic, Jessica Alba as Sue Storm AKA Invisible Woman, Chris Evans as Johnny Storm AKA The Human Torch, Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm AKA The Thing and finally Julian McMahon as Victor Volt Doom. Set some time after the first film, the movie opens with an ominous sight- that of a planet exploding a fiery death, a silvery bolt streaking out from the ruin towards our own pearly blue orb. Meanwhile, the world is proceeding as normal. The Fantastic Four, popular superheroes and celebrities (it is so refreshing to see heroes being treated either as the heroes that they are or just regular joes) who are knee-deep in preparation for Sue and Reed's wedding. Unfortunately, the arrival of the mysterious Silver Surfer wreaks havoc wherever he appears, and that spells bad news for the impending wedding.

However, it soon becomes apparent that the Surfer isn't the real threat. He's just the prologue to the real danger from the stars. In order to save the world from being devoured by a force beyond all comprehension, the Fantastic Four must defy the US military and fight their hardest against a ruthless, power-hungry nemesis who soon attains the unlimited Power Cosmic himself.

What can I say? I like this movie. In fact, I can say I loved it. I liked the first FF movie, and well, the sequel kicks more ass.

The cast is back together, and that is a good point. All are more familiar with their roles and are as likeable as ever.
Ioan Gruffudd is brainy, nerdy Reed and gets as much laughs with his powers as he does cool stunts (albeit Elasti-Girl still rules as the best execution of a stretch-o-hero).
Jessica Alba is still piping-red hot, and hilariously finds herself naked AGAIN in public- darn, when Reed says at one point that he's marrying the Hottest Girl in the World, you believe him. Anyway, she's as sweet and strong a character as she was in the first film, never a damsel and having lots of chances to show her stuff. In fact, you can tell that Sue is the glue that holds the team together.

Michael Chiklis' Thing is, once again, perfect, and provides laughs gamely along with Chris Evans' Torch- gladly we see him several times as a normal human as well as covered in the Thing costume (or is it CG?). It's refreshing to see him adjusted well to being the Thing, with little or none of the angst in the first film.

As for cocky boy, Johnny Storm gets a much bigger role here, providing both humor as well as some drama as the Torch is forced to become more serious. Try as his character needs to be an obnoxious, cocky flyboy, you can never really dislike the Torch- he's just having too much fun and more importably, he's never irritating too much- this is the right way to do a young, cocky teammate, which past superhero flicks never really got right. At the end, he gets to take the brunt of the action in the finale, ala Super Skrull with all the FF's powers, and it just plain rocks.

I even like Julian McMahon's Doom- which is no wonder since I did like McMahon's smarmy, confident villain even in the previous film, electro powers and all. Yeah, he's no longer deformed in this film (well, what can you expect... his actor is from Nip/Tuck), which throws another facet from the comics out the window, but darn- he still has the scary mask, a bad-ass cowl and cloak, and gets a great fight scene/battle at the end. That's all a supervillain could ask for.

As for the Surfer- the CG is pretty slick and awesome. He does seem so solid in the movie, and his back-story, personality and everything seems spot-on. And of course, he sounds like Morpheus, which is excellent. Will there be a Silver Surfer movie? Why not. Maybe someday.

Comic geeks will no doubt be disappointed about Galactus- and how he doesn't appear in the film as he did in the comics. He's more presented as a force, a god-like entity of unfathomable power. The familiar shape DOES appear, albeit vaguely, and I think it works, and works pretty well (it certainly will keep non-comic fans from needing to know why a giant guy with a dopey over-sized helmet is such a big deal).

All in all, FF:ROTSS works as an enjoyable, tightly-paced and entertaining superhero flick. It does pretty much everything right- comedy, drama and action are all mixed in well in the correct doses; the Thing-Torch horseplay never gets old, the Reed-Sue drama never grates or drags, the special effects, fight scenes and action work very well throughout. Even Stan Lee's cameo was kinda cool. And the Fantasticar ROCKS, appearing at just the right moment and staying for the duration. I can honestly say that with all that, I enjoyed Fantastic Four more than I did Spider-man 3. Really.

So don't believe some bogus negative reviews online- just bring the kids to the theater, buy some popcorn and get ready to enjoy the best superhero flick out so far this year. Nuff Said!

Burning Hot Teaser



Here's the debut teaser trailer for the next big game from Namco Bandai. The game is Soul Calibur IV, and it's bound for the PS3 and Xbox360 in 2008. The character models- if these are indeed in-game models- look absolutely awesome... as in, Virtua Fighter 5 awesome. I can only hope that stuff like Character Creation and other treats make it into the game. More information about the next and perhaps final chapter of the classic weapons fighter will be appearing in the July issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly. What can I say... 2008 can't come fast enough.

Birthday Boy

Yep, the MADman turns one year older today. I've got a lot to be thankful for... but to keep from jinxing anything and mentioning each and every one, I'm just gonna say, thanks for all these gifts. As I mentioned before, I've taken a bit of a vacation break starting today until next week. I'll be meeting up with some friends as well as recharging and looking at where I am, just before I continue moving forward. To everyone here who comes and visit the blog, thanks for hanging around and you can look forward to more MADness to come.

Somebody's Gotta Do It



I love educational but fun or interesting shows. Stuff like Mythbusters and Ghost Hunters, and food shows like Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential and A Cook's Tour. Well, another title has been added to my list of favorite shows. Dirty Jobs.

Tackling on the multitude of the world's messiest, grossest, most unpleasant and perhaps dangerous jobs around, the show has host Mike Rowe diving head-first into the thick of things, actually taking on occupations that most of us ordinary people wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole... yet are necessary to keep civilization running. What kinds of jobs are these? Septic Tank Maintenance. Roadkill Cleaners. Any job that involves FISH and animals. These are jobs that often involve manure, chemicals, waste and other undesirables that you'd prefer to never, ever see. But the fact is, SOMEONE has to clean up after everyone else, and that's what this show explores, in lurid, graphic detail.

I've only watched a couple of episodes, but it's damn entertaining, if truly gross. This makes all those orchestrated Fear Factor eat-crap segments look like cake walks in comparison. Host Mike Rowe really gets into the nitty-gritty, and you have to admire the guy for getting knee-deep into bat guano, letting a huge catfish swallow his arm or submerge himself in crap to show us how dirty work can be. And despite cracking jokes and making light of the situations he often finds himself it, the show is a great testament to the honest, hard work done by the men and women who actually do these things day after day. On the other hand, it also makes me appreciate my own lot in life and daily trade. Beats shovelling real, literal shit for a living.

I have to say though- I'd like to see how Mike Rowe and the septic tank workers in the US would react to our own country's Malabanan poo-divers. Heh.

The show's not on local cable, but if you can get it (I get episodes through the internet- God bless the web), I heartily recommend this entertaining, enlightening and engrossing (with a capital GROSS) show.

Culture Shock



One of the most anticipated console games coming out soon is Bioshock for the Xbox360. While in gameplay and mechanics it seems to be just another first-person shooter, the game's design, look, storyline setting and mood give it a survival-horror/adventure feel that makes it accessible and desirable for gamers who don't necessarily like run-and-gun titles.

Set in an alternate, art-deco world, Bioshock puts you in the shoes of a hapless passenger of an airliner that crash-lands into the middle of the ocean. With trappings of LOST, you make your way to a strange lighthouse-like structure which soon leads you down into the underwater city of Rapture, a man-made utopia gone absolutely MAD. Once one man's dream to create a perfect society where genetic engineering can perfect the human body and form, it soon becomes apparent that something has gone horribly wrong in paradise.

Rapture is in ruins, with seawater leaking into the city in many parts. Corpses litter the many labyrinthine chambers, shops, avenues and sectors, and genetically-altered/deformed inhabitants calling themselves Splicers roam the city like bloodthirsty predators. To survive, you have to arm yourself, not only with guns and other weapons, but with Plasmids- special compounds that will alter your genetic structure and imbue you with various powers, such as the ability to throw electrical blasts or freeze enemies solid. The most powerful plasmids and upgrades you can get can only be acquired by using Adam, a special material that's as valuable as gold in this twisted world. However, there's a problem. Adam can only be found in the corpses that litter Rapture, and the only one that can collect them from their macabre source are the Little Sisters... tiny, mutant little girls that crawl out from the pipes, searching for the material. To get Adam, you have to make a choice- to 'save' the Little Sister and get a little bit of Adam, or get all the Adam from the tyke by 'harvesting' her. And that mean killing the kid.

While it's kind of made clear that the LS's aren't really human- the producers intentionally made this a bit of a dilemma for the players. Can you stomach killing a little girl for a nice upgrade, or will you play moral white knight and go another, perhaps harder but less unsavoury road? Your choice will affect the story as it plays out as you go deeper into Rapture, an intriguing bit that players will have to discover later on.
But don't think that even getting to the Little Sisters will be easy- each is watched over and protected by a Big Daddy, a monstrous, lumbering figure in an old-style, heavy-duty diving suit. These walking tanks serve as Bioshock's bosses and take quite a lot to take down- but you'll have to do it somehow to progress through the game. By using a combination of powers, weapons, using other enemies and the environment as your allies, you'll hopefully master the world of Rapture and penetrate the depths of this sunken nightmare.

With an intriguing story, incredible graphics and gameplay elements, Bioshock really looks like a game to look forward to. It hits the Xbox360 in August 2007.

Rare Pleasures

There are few things more satisfying and enjoyable as a long weekend. In this day and age of hectic jobs, sleep deprivation and pending responsibilities, an extension to your far-too-short my time is always something to be savoured. In my case, I'll probably just waste it away with sleep, surfing the web, going on aimless videogame sessions or DVD marathons. Or working on comic pages or scripts. Rarely do I really go out to the malls unless someone like my friend Pot comes by with his car, or someone else gives me a holler. It's much nicer to just stay home and recharge. Perhaps I'm getting a bit too old already.

This week will actually be a prolonged break for me- I'll be taking the rest of the week off after Tuesday and be on leave until next week. I'll try to make the most of this extended break. Or not. I'll do what I can, is all I can say.

They're Baaaaack...



After a pretty long hiatus, Ghost Hunters are back on air with new episodes. The latest episode- the 7th installment of the 3rd Season- has TAPS (The Atlanta Paranormal Society) continuing their Ireland tour with a visit to some creepy ruins supposedly being inhabited by faeries, and then to a London pub built on the location of a former prison. The ruins proved the more fruitful venue, with eerie figures showing up on the thermal cameras and even what appeared to be a sinister, spooky face manifesting on video.

The next episode looks to be a mix of gasps and laughs as TAPS takes on a place called the Hellfire Caves, as well as what may be a creepy wax museum. I don't expect these episodes to hit local cable until there are more episodes out- but at the very least, there will be 12 episodes to be shown starting this June for the rest of 2007, and the popular series is already set to continue in 2008. Lotsa scary fun to look forward to. Whoopie!

Retro Film Review: Land of Faraway

For not much reason, I began remembering recently this movie that I watched years ago when I was a kid. It was entitled Land of Faraway. Back then, DVDs (and VCDs/CDs, even) were nowhere around, and movies were available on betamax tapes for rent in shops or neighborhood merchants. I wasn't expecting much from the tape- I mean, the title was kinda blah- but the movie got me interested soon after I plucked it into the player.
Land of Faraway, AKA Mio in the Land of Faraway, is a European-produced storybook fantasy, based on a novel. It is all about the adventures of a young boy named Bosse, a seemingly ordinary kid living with his adoptive parents in a dreary home. One day, in a fit of anger, his surrogate parent remarks at how his father was a good-for-nothing drunk... something that Bosse vehemently objects to, despite him not really knowing his real dad.

Then, one day, while walking along, Bosse encounters, of all things, a floating, giant bearded and disembodied head (!) which informs him that he is going home to his true home, to his true father, in the Land of Faraway. So, faster than you can say 'Faraway', Bosse hangs onto the long beard and is whisked off to a magical land. There, he soon meets another boy, Jum-Jum, who becomes his best friend, and of course, his father, the King of Faraway. He also finds out that his real name isn't Bosse, but Mio. How's that for a complete change?

Now, you'd think that Bosse/Mio would be totally happy after that... but then, that would make for a pretty boring story. Soon after arriving in Faraway, Mio notices with a bit of alarm the size and massiveness of Faraway's castle gate. As Jum-Jum explains, it's needed so the King can sleep at night. Faraway is, unfortunately, a kingdom under siege, from an EVIL Knight named Kato. This blackguard has kidnapped many of Faraway's children, and is holding them captive in his castle. Eventually, Mio takes it upon himself to gather the courage (and the enchanted items) needed to free the captive children, confront Kato and defeat the stone-hearted knave once and for all.

As fantasy films go, Land of Faraway isn't too high on the whimsy- it's pretty straight and matter-of-factly told, a bit heavy-handedly at that. Since it's based on a novel, there's quite a bit of narration with lines that sound straight from the book. The way Mio and Jum-Jum go about defeating Kato also plays like everything's preordained, with an enchanted item matching every situation down to an invisible cloak for thwarting seven-times-seventy guards, and a magical sword for plunging into Kato's stone heart. The production is no LOTR, either, but at the time, it didn't really matter.

These days, what's really surprising for me aside from my remembering this film, are the names of the actors in the film which I never really remembered. Well, Kato the evil Knight was played by none other than Christopher Lee. Meanwhile, Mio's sidekick Jum-Jum was performed by... The Batman himself, Christian Bale. Wild, man.

The Land of Faraway wasn't really a great fantasy film, but for some reason I remember it to this day. I guess it was clever in some ways, magical in some others, with enchantment and a dreamy feeling making up for less-than-spectacular production/special effects and a European dub. It's one of the films that make up my childhood, so at the very least, it's something that I am glad that I was able to experience. Far better than the original Critters, I'd say. Heh.

The Saga Continues


Spoilers Ahead.

I finally watched the whole first season of Heroes, and what can I say? I love it. Yeah, the show isn't perfect, there are flaws and stuff aplenty that I find hokey or hard to swallow but in the end, it was a show that I could watch episode after episode after episode without batting an eye or slowing a beat. That makes it a winner in my book.

My favorite characters: Hiro Nakamura is one, of course, since he's a little fat guy with glasses who still pretty much is THE Hero in a series about Heroes. Peter Petrelli is bad-ass and he's got a great power (although why he can't control the exploding thing is a big flaw) which makes him the only real match to the series' main baddie, Sylar... who is by the way also another one of my favorite Heroes 'cause he's smart, bad-ass and deliciously evil and genuinely scary since he tends to kill everyone who gets in his way. Then there's Mr. Bennet aka "Horn-rimmed Glasses Man", who probably goes through the best character changes and developments in the series from hated villain to formidable anti-hero/good guy. Noah's little girl, Claire also rubs me the right way not only being cute but having the guts and morals of a true hero.

I'm not too hot with Nathan Petrelli (since you can never really tell if he's good or wishy-washy) and the super-powered family of Nikki and D.L. As for Matt Parkman, seeing him in his 'dark' version turned me off to him, his former run on Alias notwithstanding.

Best Moments: Still, the first time Nathan really cuts out flying. The part where Claire wakes up on the autopsy table. Mohinder getting the drop on Sylar. Future Hiro making his debut.

Disappointing Moments/Iffy Parts: Why can't we see the final battle between Alternate Sylar and Peter??? The solution to the Bomb threat was pretty... just there. Why couldn't Peter fly off on his own? There were like, at least two other people there who could shoot Peter if it was really needed. Or, why can't someone just clock him like Invisible Guy did in an earlier episode? Oh well.

For the most part, Heroes was a engaging, addictive watch. I can't wait to see how they advance the stories of the various heroes (I am glad that they are apparently going to continue the stories of the surviving heroes in the next season) and introduce new characters into the mix. No word yet on when Season 2: Generations starts, or when the one-shot Heroes: Origins will begin, but I'll surely be keeping my eyes (and browsers) peeled. YATA!

There Shall Be Only One

I got my hands on a copy of Highlander: Search for Vengeance, the anime version of the long-running franchise of sword-swinging immortals out to decapitate all other challengers in the bid to win 'the Prize'. This latest movie and first animated incarnation of the adventures of the MacLeods is megged by the acclaimed Yoshiaki Kawajiri, whose previous works include the seminal Ninja Scroll and Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, while writing credits go to writer David Abramowitz, who wrote the scripts for a ton of Highlander shows. The feature film is being produced by Studio Madhouse, which pretty much gives Vengeance the same look and visual style of Kawajiri's past works.

The story isn't the most original- the protagonist, Colin MacLeod, is searching for Marcus Octavius, the immortal who slew his beloved centuries ago. Colin's hunt takes him throughout many periods of history, from World War II up to the near-future setting of Vengeance's present, where the world has been ravaged by both environmental and man-made disasters. The final battle will be fought in Marcus Octavius' fortress, once the city of New York. Will Colin lend his aid to the beleaguered freedom fighters battling the immortal dictator's oppressive reign, or will he simply seek to satisfy the hatred burning in his soul? Well... probably both actually. This movie really shouldn't hold too many surprises.

Reviews have already given some ideas of how Vengeance fares- the time-spanning chase has been the Highlander story from day one, so it doesn't really tread into any new territory. Also, it isn't as gory or violent or sexually-explicit as Ninja Scroll was, nor are the character designs as engaging or interesting. At the very least though, the animation looks good and there should be a fair bit of action and sexy sparrings onscreen. I'll try to give this an earnest watch as soon as I can so I can give my own two cents into the mix.

Spice Girl


Satoshi Kon's latest psychothriller anime.

Dreams are amazing, aren't they? One night you're surrounded by familiar faces and presences in your underwear... another night, you're being chased by a monster while running on a treadmill. On one level, they're inexplicable and unfathomable, yet on another it seems that the secrets to living life may actually be hidden in the nuances and images of our subconscious. But who can tell for sure?

Well, in the speculative world of Paprika, anime director Satoshi Kon's latest animated opus, dreams have finally been laid wide open thanks to a device known as the DC Mini. Created by the massively overweight and child-like genius Dr. Kosaku Tokita, the DCM allows one to see, enter and even interact with the dreams of patients, potentially opening the door to finding cures for various mental illnesses. At the forefront of this research is the beautiful yet seemingly cold and driven Dr. Atsuko Chiba (voiced by anime seiyuu icon Megumi Hayashibara), through her secret alter-ego; an adventurous, fun-loving red-headed teenaged dreamwalker named Paprika.

But when several samples of the DCM are stolen, the dark side of dream interaction is revealed as an unknown party begins tampering with dreams, sending people into a spiralling path of madness and even death. To protect their work and the waking world, Atsuko, Paprika and their colleagues fight to discover the villain behind this growing nightmare.
Fans of Satoshi Kon's work will feel right at home with Paprika- it contains much of what has come with his work before... beautiful female protagonists who are both tough yet vulnerable, gritty cops doggedly on the trail of their suspects, psychotic situations and dark humor and of course, wonderful animation and a complex story. Paprika certainly has tons of issues- such as the kinship between the internet and dreams, the morality of science and dream interaction and even the challenge posed on women in the modern/future workplace. Yet even with all that, it's also quite possible to just enjoy Paprika on a base level- it's a gorgeous work of animation with some seriously insane visuals.

The characters are a mix of the usual suspects and surprising cast choices- Atsuko is your beautiful yet cold heroine, counterbalanced by the bubbly and adventurous Paprika. Detective Konakawa, a hardened cop and patient of Paprika, seems to be the same gritty cop character often seen in Kon's other works. Then there's Dr. Shima, the usual wise, wizened old man often seen in anime in general. The most surprising new character is Dr. Kosaku Tokita- you don't usually see weight-challenged people as protagonists in anime aside from just for humor (Simpsons and The Family Guy come to mind when talking cartoon fat guys)- but Kon treats his overweight hero with as much dignity as he does the occasional fat joke. AND he gets the girl in the end.

Paprika isn't perfect- there are quite a few stretches of quiet and jargon that will probably bore those looking for instant gratification. Paprika for all her competence is as much damsel as heroine. But at the very least, with the wild imagery and animations on display, I can at least say that the film is a fair shot into showing the formless, ever-changing landscape of dreams- which is never an easy subject to tackle.
In terms of content, this is certainly not a kid's film- both because of the complexity of the subject and several instances of disturbing imagery and some nudity. Kids may enjoy some of the colorful animations and sequences, but the long talking sequences may get them drifting away into dreamland quite easily. For the anime enthusiast and fans of a great anime director's works, this is yet another dream come true.

Soulful Anticipation



As if my post about Soul Calibur was kind of a prophetic sign, it has been announced by 1Up that their magazine counterpart, Electronic Gaming Monthly, will be revealing news about the latest sequel in the Tales of Souls and Swords in their upcoming July issue.

First news of a new Soul Calibur game was that of a Wii action-adventure spinoff. At the time though, word of a true sequel to Soul Calibur III was already well-known. Here's another slash into the right direction. It's been a while since the last game, and I'm just really giddy with glee at the prospects of PS3 or Xbox360-quality graphics and gameplay with the SC cast. Character Creation, new warriors, weapons and lavish CG cinematics are just a few of the goodies expected in this coming hit. Hopefully we'll all be sticking each other with our beloved blades in the next few months.

Proudly Pinoy



I went over to Comic Quest yesterday to pick up my stuff, like the latest issue of DC's Countdown and Amazons Attack. To my surprise, a little package was waiting for me, addressed to simply 'Marco-san'. Well, I was the only Marco around so the CQ ladies gave the the gift, which was an issue of ABS-CBN's comic adaptation or version of the local superkid teledrama/telefiction series, Super Inggo. I looked at the art and it was kind of familiar. Looking at the credits confirmed it- the comic features the work of fellow komikero and K.I.A. comrade Michael Banting. Thanks for the sample, Mike! And good work! Congrats on landing the gig. Here's to more issues for you and Inggo!

The Soul Still Burns

Even with the PS3 at The Sanctum, I still find myself playing some retro classics from the old PS2 (and even PS1 on occasion). One of my favorite fighters in the Last Gen of fighting games is Soul Calibur III, a complete package of sword-fighting fun, adventure and fantasy from Namco Bandai. Continuing the 'Tale of Souls and Swords', SCIII saw the return of pretty much every character that has appeared in the title, as well as the debut of three new fighters- Setsuka the Geisha Assassin, Zasalamel the scythe-wielding mystery man and Tira, the circular blade-twirling psycho-girl. The battle for the elusive and evil sword Soul Edge and it's good mirror image Soul Calibur continued in earnest.

The graphics, animation and sounds of Soul Calibur III are top-notch, the best of the series. A lavish CG intro gets you into the mood, while a long-winded choose-your-own-adventure Tales of Souls Story Mode details every character's search for the sword, complete with realtime cutscenes that often involve an interactive element. The flaw though was that most characters share the same scenes, and you can't skip these parts... so after a while of playing you'll probably find yourself droning the charaters' lines of dialogue along with them hypnotically.

Then there's Chronicles of the Sword, an enhanced Quest mode with delusions of RTS grandeur. You basically create and take the role of a young cadet-turned commander in the military forces of the Grandall Empire, which is locked in war with several other countries. Divided into about 20 chapters, you have to battle your way through conspiracies, betrayals, plots and counter plots in this high-stakes war of empires. If that sounds epic and awesome, then scale your expectations down. It really just boils down to you sending your 'army' of four or five units all across a map, capturing enemy strongholds by first hacking these buildings to rubble and then fighting any enemy soldiers stationed inside. Even if a station is unmanned, you still have to hack the place down, which makes your characters more demolitionists than actual warriors. Though the story is told through a few pivotal realtime cutscenes and talking heads with text, your success is really based on your fighting skills. Still, even with all the tedious bits, it's an interesting way of unlocking tons of stuff, and does get involving after a while. You just have to be a little bit OC and patient to enjoy it.

If just the main fighting modes aren't enough for you, you can try your hand at various mini-games in the Soul Arena mode. These range from Fighting the End Boss or a Giant Statue to Sudden Death or Survival matches. It's pretty convenient and fun to have these in a single place. Some of the modes are fun, some are good for a try or two- but all are appreciated.

Finally, there's the Character Creation mode, which was much touted by the producers. To be fair, the mode is pretty awesome, and you'd wish that every fighting game from here on in has this feature. You create your new warrior from scratch, selecting sex, occupation and outfitting them with armor from head to toe. Aside from the skill-sets of the main cast, there are about ten or so new occupations like assassins, gladiators and samurai to assign to your new creation. While some are similar to already-existing styles, all are different and new in a way, so it's interesting to see them in action- even though some are quite overpowered and broken, and even bordering on ridiculous (yeah, tambourine-carrying dancers wreaking havoc is a bit wild). My only wish is that the mode had even more stuff to use- more variety of clothing, armor and accessories. You just can't have too much stuff in something like this. Even so, it's a pretty robust offering and the best one of it's kind so far in a major fighting game. I can't wait to see how Character Creation will turn out in the next game.

With all these stuffings, Soul Calibur III is one fighting package loaded to the rafters with modes, secrets, unlockables and stuff to do and find. It's great to be able to play this in an upscaled, smoother look in widescreen via the PS3- and with what may be a long wait till Soul Calibur IV, it looks like I'll be playing this for a while yet.

Divine Divinity


Goddess Llyra takes flight.

I love action figures- particularly action figures of sexy action heroines and anime/videogame babes. I've already got a small army of these protecting The Sanctum and my workstation at The Salt Mines, and that family just got a little bit bigger. My latest acquisition is Goddess Llyra, part of the Spawn Series 31 action figures. This figure is inspired by the character of the same name that appears in the one-shot comic Spawn: Godslayer, a warrior goddess who protects the island of Endra-La from invaders. This brings her into conflict with a mysterious ravager known as Marauder Spawn, who has come to, well, slay gods.

Now, while I am usually impressed by the quality of McFarlane figures, I haven't been particularly pleased by the actual designs of their warrior women series- I dislike the generic look of a lot of them, with their face-paints, bondage-style outfits and big, bulky boots that make them look like elephant half-breeds. Llyra however, is quite different. She doesn't have much in the way of gaudy decor with her pretty minimal metallic costume and ornaments; her face is gorgeous and devoid of face paint or any angsty scars or prosthetic crap, and her pleasantly bare legs and feet are finely sculpted.

She's a pretty glorious and fantastic representation of the female form (albeit a four-armed female form), in a magnificent pose that has her taking off into the air, flaming sword raised for battle. From head to toe, the detail in the figure is amazing. She doesn't have much in the way of articulation aside from her arms and waist, but the pose is pretty much perfect as it is. The flowing cloth around her waist extends downward to form into the figure's base, which is supposed to carry the figure and hold it aloft in 'flight'. She comes with a couple of black metal rods that you attach for support and prevent sagging over time. Not too obtrusive, thankfully. It does take a bit of assembly (getting on the wings is particularly stiff), and her sword tends to come apart easily, but once she's put together, she's a vision.
I'm also happy as well since Llyra's overall look and pose is so similar to an Aspen Studios' Kiani statue that I've been ogling online but will probably never get since it's priced at over three hundred dollars (AAARHHH). In any case, Llyra is simply divine (saw that coming, didn't ya?). I like her so much that I also got the comic in which she appears, and really, the figure is far more beautiful than Jay Anacleto's artworks of the character.

I'm also now actively looking for more femme fatales from McFarlane (the goddess needs some underlings to serve her, after all) despite the fact that I am fast running out of space to put these beauties. I'll just worry about crossing that bridge when I get there. Heh.

I got tagged by Carl and Budjette: “Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about himself or herself. People who get tagged need to write a blog entry of their own as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to tag 6 people as well and list their names. Don’t forget to let them know they’ve been tagged!”

Six Weird Things About Me

Une
I am incredibly OC concerning two very specific things. One, The Sanctum AKA My Room. I can spend hours just rearranging magazine piles, boxes, books, action figures, DVD libraries and what have you from one corner to another. I get into it so much that afterwards, I just stand back and feel strangely like having a cigarette.
The other thing is my Pocket PC Phone's wallpapers. I can spend whole nights just finding visuals to lay out on the 320 x 240 screen, fixing up multiple layers of images, text and effects until it's just right, factoring down to to the millimeters between text and the main visual, to the colors of the borders. Then I just stash it away in the phone and use something else. Yeah, weird.

Deux
I can eat the same thing over and over and over. One time I spend a couple of weeks eating at McDonald's every night with the same meal- 2 piece McChicken Meal with extra rice and a Burger McDo on the side. Every night for two weeks. Then I shifted over to the next-door KFC and ate there every night for a week. These days, my main meal at home is several deep-fried chicken wings, rice and soup. Again. And Again. And Again. And I love it.

Tres
I enjoy speaking english in a (supposed) Russian accent.

Quatre
I don't see myself ever driving my own car. My primary reason is my perceived propensity for Road Rage- I might lose my temper and smash into the first car that overtakes me or honks his horn at me the wrong way, or run over pedestrians who don't cross at the proper lane. To ensure the safety of countless people, I think I must remain a commuter.

Sinc
Based on an incident that happened a long time ago during a high school excursion, my immediate reaction to anything that genuinely startles me won't be to scream or yell in terror but to do a comical "HIYAAA" complete with a Karate Kid Crane Stance.

Sais
While a lot of people often experience LSS or Last Song Syndrome (where you keep hearing the last song you've heard in your head over and over), I have what may be a more specialized version called LQS or Last Quote Syndrome. One time on the way to work, I suddenly remembered this joke about lawyers and rats told by Robin Williams in the movie Hook, and it kept repeating in my head over and over and over until I finally got to work and was able to focus on something else.

I hereby TAG anyone who reads this blog entry.

In Support of Piracy


Does the Third Pirates movie sink or swim?

For the past several weeks, I've seen a couple of 'third' chapters of blockbuster franchises, only to find myself disappointed. Spider-Man 3 impressed with fight scenes but horrified with bad writing and a bad ending. Shrek the Third was just not funny or as entertaining as previous entries. And now... here's Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Does it blow the rest of the pack out of the water, or does it scream "STRIKE THREE" as the third third movie mess?

For starters, I have to remind everyone that At World's End is a continuation of the story started in the previous chapter, Dead Man's Chest. You NEED to have watched and understood Part Two to appreciate the goings-on in Part Three. That said, this kind of thing is common these days in our era of trilogies like The Matrix and The Lord of the Rings. If it's been a while, bring out those DVDs and refresh your pirate lore before heading off to theaters.


ARRR! Beware of SPOILERS, Matey!

With the terrifying Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and his ship, The Flying Dutchman, under his control, Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) of the East India Trading Company is waging a campaign of genocide versus all of the seas' pirates. The opening minutes of AWE is leagues darker than previous films, with scenes of merciless hangings aplenty showing just how high the stakes have risen since the devil-may-care second chapter.

With their way of life and very survival threatened, the resurrected Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) joins Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and the remnants of the Black Pearl's crew to find and rescue Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from his own personal hell in Davy Jones' Locker. This takes up the first part of the film, and is in itself an epic quest reminiscent of old fantasy films like the Sindbad movies or Terry Gilliams' Erik the Viking. It's ridiculous but enthralling, mystical and ludicrous and one heck of a ride. As for The Locker itself, it's a place of unique torment, and a peek into the demented mind of one Captain Jack Sparrow- let me tell you... the man is NUTZ. As in, he's got real peanuts growing out of his 'ead! I kid you not.

Anyways, after Jack is finally rescued and resurrected from the briny afterlife (OOH SHOCKER!), the heroes all promptly start scheming and plotting their way on their own agendas, be it to rescue a loved one (Will), to save the pirate race (Barbossa) or to just be able to sleep at night (Elizabeth). There are double-crosses and triple-crosses and here comes the part where people may get confused and lose sense of what's going on.

Here's a hint. ALL of the leads are good guys, more or less. The bad guys are either smarmy redcoats or half-fish monsters. Or bald scarred Chinese pirate lords. So no matter who betrays who, everyone remains, in their own way, true.

While two thirds of this journey is mainly character interaction, drama, deals and double-deals and injections of humor (that's a mite funnier than in DMC), the final hour is all action... a literal wild ride that does not let up until a rip-roaring slow-mo obliteration of one ship- I mean, Cutler Beckett may not be the most formidable or engaging villain in movies, but certainly his demise is truly exceptional. Bottom-line, If you liked or enjoyed the previous two Pirates films, you'll love this. It brings resolutions to all the characters (though a couple I feel were undeserved) and ends all the storylines so far revealed. At almost three hours, it will indeed satisfy you with good exposure from pretty much every character, from Jack Sparrow to the other Jack (the Undead Monkey).

What's Good and What's Bad? Let me start with the Bad.

The one big bad I have to say is this. The movie trailers and promotion all had me expecting this HUGE free-for-all battle between the world's freedom-loving pirates and the massive EITC Armada ranged to annihalate them. Well... it NEVER happens. The final battle is played out between two ships- the ubiquitous Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman. Granted, this ship-to-ship, crew-on-crew battle is simply awesome... but it would have been great to see the many other pirate lords introduced at least get their hands a bit dirty in the struggle, as it IS their survival at stake. Instead, everyone else just sit at the sidelines and cheer at the end once the fighting is all done... which kinda waters down the hurrah afterwards.

Another bad is a wee detail- mainly the fate of James Norrington (Jack Davenport). While the offscreen passing of Weatherby Swan (Jonathan Pryce) is a bit of a shocker given that he was a comic relief character, he at least gets to say a proper goodbye to Elizabeth- and it does serve the purpose of giving Liz reason to hate Beckett and the EITC more. Norrington's death (at the hands of the most unlikely character, to boot(!) just made me feel bad. The guy just never got a nice break, even though he was at heart an honorable and good man who deserved better. While his death had drama and meaning, it would have been nicer to have cut him some slack at the end. I mean, even those two chatty redcoats made it okay! Sigh.

Then there's the love story of Davy Jones and his former love, Calypso- something that seems so intense and deep, but is eventually lost and feeling unfinished. On the other hand, perhaps they were just there to reflect the present love and conflict between Will and Elizabeth.

Finally, the last significant 'bad' for me is Chow Yun Fat's Sao Feng. While Mr. Fat looks awesome bald and scarred, he just didn't have enough of a role to be really too significant. Even sadder, Keith Richards, who appears in shorter screentime, makes far more of an impression as the uber-cool Captain Teague, Jack Sparrow's daddy and Keeper of Pirate Law.

Well that's that. Other bads are just nitpicks.

For the good, then.

With three hours, you just cannot accuse this movie of cutting the fun short. Every character has stuff to do or say, and their little or big parts in the story. Thankfully, everyone is pretty easy to keep track of even with all the double-crosses and shifts from here to there and back again. The cast is in fine form, and it's great to Jack spar with Barbossa (particularly a scene with ever-growing spyglasses which is obviously loaded), and how Will and Elizabeth finally makes us care about their relationship again.

The World of Pirates has grown even more from Dead Man's Chest, and it's just cool. It's cool to find out that there are Pirate Lords, that a couple of our leads are part of this secretive (but not really that organized) cabal. It's cool to see just how much a fantasy world the Pirates Universe really is. And it all comes to life gloriously thanks to Industrial Light and Magic. Every new monster, fabulous setting, explosion and magical transformation is amazing and convincing- this film truly is a treasure trove of amazing sights, and incredibly enough they all seem seamless. You never for one second look at Davy Jones and say, he's CG. You just think he's a real damn Squid-faced Man of the Sea. When rocks become crabs and sail a ship through a desert, you believe it. If you can, watch this on Imax. DAMN that would be awesome. I am SOOOO getting this series on Blu-Ray.

And finally, the best 'Good' for me is that this movie satisfies. Remember the Matrix Revolutions? Remember how after it ended you came out going, 'that was it?' We all went home sad and disappointed at how Neo and Trin died but at least the human race survived and the Colonel will keep his word. Well, not here. The ending is true to the movies. It doesn't pull a Wachowski and go all existencial on us. Jack Sparrow's true heart shines in a great personal sacrifice. The most exciting wedding ever is held. Lives end and change but love conquers in the end. Some journeys definitely end here, but the world that is Pirates of the Caribbean is, like the sea, left open for future exploration. If Jack Sparrow has more tales to tell, I'll be right here waiting to listen.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is now showing in theaters. Get the small soft drink to keep from missing any of this. It's a long, exciting, absurd, goofy, thrilling and ultimately satisfying voyage.

Oh, and one last thing. There is a final epilogue scene AFTER the credits. When I watched, pretty much the ENTIRE audience had left and MISSED it! It's well worth seeing (unlike the 'dog' ending in DMC), so take my word for it. Wait.

Preparing to Set Sail

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is now showing here in Manila theaters. As much as I want to just go off and watch it the second I quit work, I'm a bit wary of the almost 3-hour running time and the prospect of going home past midnight. In any case, that I'm going to watch this the first chance I get is a given- I've been waiting for this film the first time I saw Jack Sparrow leap into the Kraken's maw. Certainly I've been anticipating AWE more than Shrek 3 and Spider-Man 3, both of which disappointed me. Pirates is, I realize, the Star Wars of our present day. A swashbuckling saga with the rascally pirate in the lead instead of a wussy farm boy. But hopefully, this, the third chapter, won't be another Return of the Jedi.

Despite a lot of negative reviews with guys complaining about how they can't understand what's happening, I am hopeful. It's infuriating when some hack on some site bashes a movie and writes all of one paragraph just saying he couldn't figure out what was going on. IF YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO REVIEW IT. Understand what you're reviewing, 'reviewers'... that's your job. Sheesh. Good thing Harry Knowles at Ain't It Cool gave the movie a good thumbs up and a nice review for a change. So I'm stoked going into this one.

I definitely love the franchise, for the record. I do have my reservations about how the film can meander, but I do appreciate the length of the movies, the extended dialogies and sequences- it just makes it more detailed and, for the lack of a better word, exhaustive. You certainly get enough of each character, from Jack and Will and Elizabeth to Gibbs and Marty and Jack the Undead Monkey. The production and art direction are flawless, and just feels so consistent throughout the first two films. AWE looks to up the ante in a big, big way, with huge setpieces and new locations. The fantasy element is also given a boost, with more creatures from Davy Jones' crew, armies of colorful pirates and intriguing new concepts like the Pirate Lords and the Brethren of the Coast. It all just proves that making an MMORPG based on the Pirates world not a bad idea at all. I love this world, and the third movie looks to show you a lot more of it in this big budget, slam-bang finale.

Expect a review soon as soon as I watch it. I promise, it won't take three hours to read. Mehehe.

The Golden Compass



Here's the first official trailer to The Golden Compass, the first in the series of fantasy novels entitled His Dark Materials by British author Philip Pullman. I haven't read the books, but apparently this is set in a fantastic alternate reality where people have familiars called daemons and magic coexists with technology in a beautiful, Jules Vern-esque world- albeit with dangerous secrets hidden in the trappings. It's all about a girl named Lyra who is entrusted with, well, a Golden Compass which leads her on a dangerous but epic adventure.
There are big names in the cast, including Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coultier, the movie's glamorous villainess. Also on board are the leads from Casino Royale- Daniel Craig plays Lord Asriel, Lyra's uncle and master adventurer, while Eva Green plays a gorgeous witch queen.

So far the visuals look fantastic and may just be worth the price of admission just for the art direction. Hopefully the story is awesome and the adaptation watchable for the big screen. It's still a ways off- December 2007 is the stated date. Till then, take a gander at the Youtube trailer and let your imagination fly.

Coming in Third



Friday night found me going out with Salt Mine workmate Joey and her hubby Rey to catch the latest Dreamworks CG feature, Shrek the Third at Greenbelt.
Unfortunately, I found this latest Shrek to be the least of the three Big Green Ogre movies released so far. The characters are still loveable, but the gags are just not as funny. At least for me. I don't know... maybe I've just watched too many jokes or seen the trailers too often to get cracked up. On the other hand, the lady next to me was positively bursting at the seams with laughter.

In any case, Shrek the Third isn't horrible, nor is there any cardinal sin committed like Spider-Man 3's Butler Bombshell. It just feels... stale. The new Arthurian add-ons to the cast are okay, but just not as developed as previous additions; they're more plot devices than characters that suddenly come to life like Puss in Boots did in Shrek 2. The movie has a bit too much going on, and the finale... well, the finale just sorta happened and that was that. Nowhere near the manic pace and action-packed hilarity of the Finale in Shrek 2.

If it isn't obvious by now, Shrek the Third comes to me as an inferior film to the previous two Shrek movies, particularly to Shrek 2, in everything but the quality of CG animation. Hopefully Shrek 4 (yes, a fourth film is already underway) will be fresher. Well, as fresh as a stinking Ogre can be.

On to Pirates 3, then.

Starcraft II



It's official. Blizzard debuted a CGI trailer for the long-awaited sequel to it's classic sci-fi RTS in Seoul recently. I'm not the biggest Starcraft fan, but I know a good thing when I see it. So far, here are some facts known about the game...

There will be three factions once more doing battle- Terran, Zerg and Protoss. No new races, unfortunately. The Story Mode will feature appearances by the game's previous important characters, such as Terran hero James Raynor, Protoss commander Zeratul and the Zerg Queen, Kerrigan. The game will be released primarily on PCs and Macs- no console plans yet (Boo). While the game has been in development for quite some time (ever since the completion of Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne), there's still no word of a release date.

Well, Starcraft II is coming... perhaps sooner than anyone may realize. Something to look forward to in gaming in the months ahead. Heh.

Heaven or Hell



There's an epic blockbuster coming later this year... it's an action-packed fantasy adventure starring a female heroine. No, it's not Angelina Jolie or Kate Beckinsale... in fact, unless you're a gamer, you probably won't know much about Heavenly Sword, the next big videogame lurking on the horizon for the Playstation 3.

Set in a brutal fantasy world, Heavenly Sword tells the tale of Naruko, a young woman born under dire circumstances. Her birthday is the same as the day that the god of their world was supposed to come to the world, which is an evil omen. True to that sinister precognition, evil would soon sweep the land in the form of King Bothan, a bloodthirsty monarch backed by a vast army bent on genocide. Obsessed with a relic known as The Heavenly Sword, Bothan is ready to kill anyone and everyone in his way to what he sees is his destiny- to wield this weapon and rule the land as a god himself. Naruko's clan is the one entrusted with the keeping of the sword, and so it is them that receives most of Bothan's tender affection. After her home is invaded and her people enslaved or massacred, Naruko takes up the Heavenly Sword herself, even though she knows full well that doing so will inevitably lead to her own death- since no mere mortal should hold the Heavenly Sword and live. And so, with her life ticking away to oblivion, Naruko sets off on a one-woman war against an overwhelming enemy.


Beauty and strength. Naruko embodies both. And she enjoys long walks on the beach, too.

What sets Heavenly Sword from the rest of the pack is the blinding promise that this game has had from day one. Touted as one of the PS3's true next-gen titles, the game has slipped again and again from release dates, delayed for developmental purposes. Still, images and clips of Naruko laying the Smacketh Down on hordes of enemies, in gloriously hi-res graphics and animation, keeps gamers' mouths watering for Heavenly Sword. The Developers, Ninja Theory, also say that the game will not only be your run-of-the-mill hack-and-slash; they're calling it a cinematic fantasy-action drama, an epic movie players take control of. Adding to this claim is the fact that Lord of the Rings' alum and veteran actor Andy Serkis is on board to direct and act through the game's cinematic cut scenes, via motion-captured animation that strives to capture a character's emotions squarely on the digital personages appearing in the game.


He's no Gollum, but with Andy Serkis behind the evil King Bothan's movements, he's sure to be one meaty villain.

High-impact fighting mechanics and bone-crushingly brutal moves, hi-res and hi-def visuals as well as high-powered performances are all behind Heavenly Sword. I've seen only bits, but it all looks cool. I can only hope that the gameplay, story and content of this much-anticipated title is worth the wait. But at least, with Metal Gear Solid 4 nowhere to be seen, this should tide PS3 gamers for the rest of this year as 2007's big gun. Er, sword.

Boxed In

You'd probably think that after my revelation that the original Xbox is dead, that I wouldn't touch one with a ten foot controller. Well, no, actually- the console is still an excellent gaming platform, with tons of software (as long as I get to them before they disappear totally from store shelves). I got a used but still-in-good-condition Xbox1 from eBay (a local seller). The good thing is it came fully modded, with two controllers and quite a few games (though none that I like) at a very nice price- a brand new Gameboy would be pricier. It also comes with built-in any-region DVD playability so now I have a DVD player that can play my region-coded discs again in The Sanctum. So now I can play DVDs and a host of excellent games that deserve my attention and enjoyment. And now that empty slot in the gaming wall is occupied as well. I guess getting a Wii will have to wait. Heh.

Second Third

After the debacle that was Spider-Man 3, another second sequel is upon us- Shrek the Third is the latest chapter in the blockbuster CG-movie series about a grouchy but loveable green ogre and his life and love in a hilarious fairy tale world. This franchise apparently has no plans of stopping anytime soon- at least a couple of more Shrek movies are already being planned, and a spin-off film starring the Spanish cat, Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas), has also been mentioned.

The latest film picks up some time after the last movie, and sees Shrek (Michael Myers) having a royal dilemma. The King of Far, Far Away (John Cleese) is dying, and an heir needs to be found. Of course, rather than be saddled with royal duties, Shrek goes on a quest to find another guy to stick in the throne. Meanwhile, Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) makes his move to take the vacant throne, and it's up to Fiona (Cameron Diaz) to rally a gang of fairy-tale princesses (voiced by a gaggle of comediennes from Saturday Night Live) to stage a counter-coup.
With pretty much the whole gang from the previous chapter coming back for the ride as well as some new faces and voices, Shrek the Third looks to continue the winning formula. I'll try to catch this soon, perhaps over the weekend at the latest. I want to be all clear by next week, when the THIRD Third movie hits Manila. Heh.

Ex-Box


X-tinct.

Right now, I'm actually regretting my decision to give away my old Xbox. I mean, when I gave it as a Christmas gift to my nephews, I thought they'd cheer at receiving a whole gaming console. But I remember that they just gave it a cursory 'Thanks' before going back to playing on the PS2. Not that I think they weren't grateful- it's that, I probably would have done better by giving them a new Playstation 2 rather than divest myself of a perfectly good, albeit apparently now DEAD console. Yeah, Microsoft is all focused on their now-gen Xbox360 console, so the older, heavier, blacker and bulkier (but weaker) original Xbox is left out in the cold. How focused? And how DEAD? Well, for starters do you know you cannot buy an Xbox console in any stores now? At least, in Greenhills I could not find a single store that would sell an original Xbox. They're now being phased out, like old model cellphones. Yeah, there are still Xbox games being sold, but the console itself is now extinct, at least here in Metro Manila.

Which is odd, I'd say, considering that there are still Dreamcasts, Super Nes's, Famicoms, Gameboys and PS's being sold. Why is the old Xbox suddenly gone? What happened to all those unsold Xboxes? I can hardly believe that all were sold. Were they sent back to Bill Gates? Or are they lining some warehouse somewhere, along with the Ark of the Covenant? Odd.

Well anyway, I suddenly got an itch at the back of my head, and the itch said, "I want to play Xbox games." These are titles like the Knights of the Old Republic games, Jade Empire and good stuff like the original Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball and the gladiatorial RPG/Strategy game Gladius. And so, I went off to the bin of all bins, eBay, and went hunting for a big black box. I'll be learning whether I win or not in a couple of hours (looks like I'll be winning though). After that, I figure I'll go off and buy every good Xbox disc I can get to build a nice library and have a back-up gaming system to play. When I get that itch. What the heck. I'll be getting the system for cheap. Someday, I'll open a gaming library and museum with all the stuff I have in The Sanctum.

Which just goes to show- never throw anything away (or give away) anything you can possibly miss or use in the future. Regret (and itches) are hard things to live with. Heh.

Getting your Hands Dirty

Today I went off despite my self-proclaimed apathy and jaded views towards our country's politics to cast my vote. Elsewhere in the country, ruthless politicos are having people bribed, terrorized or even killed to get their way. Luckily, here in Metro Manila it's peaceful, and our polling station was just a short walk away from the house. There were police and poll watchers aplenty, and the place was quiet and not at all crowded. In a bit I was done filling up the ballot and afterwards had my finger stained to show that I had done my duty.

Will it make a difference? What the heck. It will or it won't. Like the proverbial motto on Lotto- you can't win if you don't send in a ticket.

Life goes on tomorrow. Let's see what happens next.

The Soul Still Burns



... and this time, it's on the Nintendo Wii. Yep, according to Weekly Famitsu, Soul Calibur will be making an appearance on Mario's turf, though not in the usual way. Instead of a straight-up one-on-one fighter, Soul Calibur Legends, Nintendo's version of Namco's premiere weapons fighter, will be a third-person action adventure, putting players into the armored greaves and boots of Soul Calibur's various heroes, wandering the land presumably in search of the evil sword, Soul Edge. While it has been implied that the game will primarily focus the disgraced knight Siegfried, you will apparently be able to play with other fighters, as wel as several new faces.

It is assumed that Legends will make use of the Wii's unique control system, so players will be waving their Wii remotes and nunchucks around a lot as they hack their way past their opponents. So far there hasn't been much in the ways of screens or vids, but a couple of lovely artworks of Siegfried facing off with a dragon and Ivy battling a horde of mummified undead have been released. Intriguingly cool stuff.

Well, this is a pretty good reason for me to grab a Wii, though what I really want is Soul Calibur IV, whether it be on the PS3 or Xbox360. Hopefully, this little diversion on the Wii soon gives way to the real slashing sequel. More on this as it happens. Woowie!

Avatar Watch

Unfortunately there's still no news about the exact date of the Third Season's debut, but we do have a nice little tidbit. Apparently, a new Avatar game is in the works, this time based on the events of the second season, Book of Earth. In this second videogame, Aang the Avatar and his friends must team up to defend the Greatest City in the Earth Kingdom from a deadly Fire Nation threat. Entitled Avatar: The Burning Earth, this will hopefully improve upon the previous game. All I can say is... Toph had better be present and playable. Heheh.

Anyways, for some nice Avatar tidbits, I highly recommend heading on over to Avatarspirit.net to check out stuff like a three-part interview with Avatar creators Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante DiMartino that reveals quite a bit of stuff about the series, characters and behind-the-scenes stuff (but of course, nothing about the Third Season's release date).

And so... back to waiting. Darn it.

Third Time's a Harm


Review time means SPOILERS AHEAD, so beware.

After the Ateneo Comics Workshop, Carl, El, Jonas and I headed off to Eastwood City to watch the third and supposedly last installment of Marvel Comics' most successful comic-to-film series. Spider-man 3 just may be the last time we'll see Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst as the leads, and certainly it'll be the last for at least one other cast member.

Spider-man 3 sees New York finally warming up to their friendly neighborhood wall-crawler; everyone in the Big Apple loves ol' Spidey now, which is about time after two movies of kicking villain butt. Peter Parker (Maguire) is soaking it up like a plant does sunshine, and it's probably a first for the loveable loser. There are now only two people who aren't too happy about Spidey taking the limelight- one, of course, is J. Jonah Jameson (played as always to perfection by J.K. Simmons). The other, oddly enough, is Mary Jane Watson (Dunst), Peter's girlfriend who is experiencing a rough road in her own showbiz career.

The third movie seems to be the endgame for stuff that has been brewing for the past couple of films. Here, Harry Osborn (James Franco) finally begins his campaign on the perceived murderer of his dad, taking on the Goblin's arsenal and super-strength treatments to turn into- The 'New' Goblin. Here, everyone FINALLY realizes that Mary Jane sucks on stage. Here, Peter finally decides he wants to live in sickness or in health with MJ. Here as well we have the climax of the Ben Parker arc, as a newly-escaped con named Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church) is revealed to be the senior Parker's real killer. Complicating things of course is that Marko won't be easy to catch since he's become the all-powerful Imhotep-er, The Sandman- after getting exposed to some radioactive sandblasting.

As if all that wasn't overstuffed enough, we've got an alien symbiote crashing down to earth (and into Peter's life), bonding with him to create a new, power-enhancing black costume at the cost of making him an aggressive arse. Oh, and there's a sleazy sneak bastard named Eddy Brock (Topher Grace) out to snatch Peter's career at the Daily Bugle, and a lovely Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard) around to make MJ all jealous and frumpy.

Whew! For the most part, it all comes together in one, big, entertaining... MESS. The movie, while moving along as fast as it can under all that weight, bogs down a lot due to the dragging Peter-MJ romance. I just found watching them to be irritating- MJ is irrationally jealous of Peter's new confidence, which speaks badly of her character- what a stuck up broad! Anyway, they don't talk in the same way MJ did in the 2nd movie, which could have fixed a lot of the trouble they go through here. And then there's that awful 'coercion' thing with Harry Osborn where MJ breaks up with Peter for fear of his life... What the-? Messy, messy, messy. Oh, and having a knockout Gwen Stacy around just made MJ all the more sucky. The love mechanic between the two leads just clamps down on everything, making it all slow down like this was some dramedy or soap. It's a superhero movie, darn it!

Still, all this pales in comparison to the "Butler Ex Machina" that pretty much had me throwing out my hands in exasperation. It takes some butler mouthing off some nonsense about stuff he couldn't possibly know to turn Harry Osborn back?

"Your father died from the blades of his own glider... I had no doubt they were self-inflicted..." (or something like that).

So what... the butler's a CSI or something? I didn't know the Green Goblin had an Alfred Pennyworth on the payroll. The whole plot hinges on this, and it just plain reeks.

Flaws like these (along with iffy stuff like Stan Lee's most obnoxious appearance yet) mar the rest of the movie, but at least there's lots of stuff to keep us entertained. The rest of the cast is in fine form, like the aforementioned JJJ, May Parker and even people like Peter's landlord and his winsome daughter. Then there's Church's Sandman, whose sheer strength of will and love for his daughter makes him a sympathetic anti-hero instead of a straight villain. The revelation at the end about the true circumstances of Ben Parker's death is a welcome end to that pivotal plotline and a nice tie-up to the movie's general theme of revenge and forgiveness. Oh, and there's Venom, whom comic fans have probably been dying for years to see- but will probably be disappointed at the results. He's neat and all, but comes far too late in the movie so he seems like an afterthought, and doesn't stay too long. Oh well.

One thing that the movie does well- in fact, amazingly well- is the action, and Spider-man 3 has far and away the best fight scenes in the series, and perhaps in any superhero movie so far. Great, dizzying stuff that had me at the edge of my seat. The Sandman CG effects are amazing to see- you'll never find another pile of sand that can bring a tear to your eye. It was just a pity all the bad stuff kept me falling off my seat just as often. The movie ends with a sunrise, however with a major character death and everyone onscreen crying... it felt like The Return of the King. A funeral, and a slowdance gave way to the credits, which is an odd, downbeat way of ending this franchise (or at least the trilogy). Once again, a flaw, since I would have liked Spidey to go off into the sunset swinging, rather than slow-dancing to a fadeout.

Once again, a mess with quite a lot of entertaining parts. I hope they make another Spidey. In fact, I'm sure they will, given how much money there is in this character and series. Bury Maguire and Dunst in cash. Just get it done. And learn from your mistakes, okay? No more butlers. That's Batman's schtick. Or something. Feh.

An Empowered Review



Empowered is your below-average, C-list heroine. Her powers stem from her shiny super-suit, a self-repairing tighter-than-skintight number that leaves NOTHING to the imagination. When she dons it, she can shoot 'zaps' from her hands and gains the strength of ten men (or fifteen wimpy men). Unfortunately, Emp's powers decrease drastically when the suit gets damaged. And that happens a lot. Scratch that- it happens pretty regularly. The thing seems to be as substantial as soap suds, so more often than not, any combat encounter Emp gets into almost always ends up with her getting captured and bound up like a victim in some hentai BDSM video. Her super-team, the Superhomeys, only marginally regard her as a member, and one 'comrade', Sistah Spooky, openly hates her guts for some reason. Shamed and humiliated almost every time, one would ask, why the heck does this girl keep trying?

It's simple. Because she's a hero. A C-list heroine, but darn, she's got A+ Spirit, and that's something that the most unlikely people see- namely the gun-toting hired thug named Thugboy (who is coincidentally an exceptionally smart, dashing, good-looking, honorable, insightful and sweet thug) and a deadly ninja assassin named Ninjette. Oh, and then there's a fiery world-ravaging demonlord that Emp manages to trap inside a hi-tech manacle who thereafter spends his time watching DVDs and Cable TV in Emp's living room, while dispensing advice and morale-boosting sayings as only a fearsome devourer of souls can. With enemies like these, who needs friends?

Empowered is the latest work from Adam Warren, formerly known from all those Dark Horse releases of Dirty Pair manga and cult-favorite specials and limited series of Gen 13. This hugely famous 'Ameri-manga' artist/writer is one of my favorite comics creators, and he is at his finest in this one. The book is a collection of short stories featuring the loveable Emp, her closest pals, her teammates and the rest of their new universe of superheroic comedy.

The stories range from really short quips, almost comic strip-short, to some tales that last for almost ten pages or so. On every page there are panels and panels of Warren's incredible uninked art to enjoy, as well as the manic dialogue that has become his trademark. You'd think that this master of black comedy is a sadist at parts, having his poor damsel Emp getting bound up pretty much in every story, crushing shame heaped on her head time after time. But then he turns around and gives her a thuggy Prince Charming and a ninja best friend, so things get balanced out nicely. Maybe. Kinda.
As funny as it is sad, as sexy as it it cute and heartwarming, Emp is a guilty pleasure to read...US-made manga-superhero ecchi with heart. Despite the outward wackiness, Empowered is played quite seriously; there are no fourth wall breakouts or tongue-in-cheek winks to the reader within the actual stories; this isn't parody- it IS a legitimate superhero tale and universe on offer here, just more intimate with a lot of sex (which pretty much keeps it a no-kids title). The characters are immediately likeable and it all just makes you want to see longer, more meaty stories to see more about them. I want to see more Ninjette. Now.

Warren has already mentioned that he's got a lot of Emp's stories in mind, and hopefully with the great response to this first volume, we'll be seeing more of this and soon. It's quality stuff here, so I enjoin all mature comic fans to grab Empowered on sight. This is mucho good stuff.

Do I have to say it twice? I will. Get Empowered. Now!